Hey, it’s been a while, hope you’re keeping well and conscious in these peculiar times.
Where have I been? I have to admit something, and it’s a bit embarrassing, but I am the first one saying “we boys should ‘open up or ‘coming out’ and admit our weaknesses’’, so, here I am, this is the truth: I’m experiencing the “Jacuzzi effect”.
No, no, it’s not what it might sound like, my bathtub is a bit rusty and ain’t got massaging bubbles. The thing is, I just engaged with so many personal development programs, platforms, books, podcasts and so on, that I got lost in the pleasure of “learning”, or better, in getting super interesting information in, not sure if real learning, just kind of overwhelm myself with inspiring notions, concepts, promises for a better, more fulfilling, more true, empowering future life. Without fully realising that today is already the future of my first and last post of more than a month ago and not much has changed, at least not outside me.
Why do I (we?) do that? because it feels good, it’s very much like being stroked by the gentle touch of water or like floating almost weightless in a bathtub of soothing massaging bubbles.
So, I’ll grab a towel, give a good energetic rub to dry my body and out of this beautiful bath, time for action.
Actually before doing that, let’s go back to some words, to see if we can then stimulate not just random action, but some transformative action, the one that changes real life.
Like I stated in the first post-manifesto of this blog: information itself is not very powerful if It is not translated into action, only then we can bring a shift in reality, therefore evolution of the self and the social groups and communities we are part of.
I had quite a few inspirations and ideas to bring my personal discussion further and deeper, I had in my head at least four posts, wrote them with my thoughts and never put them down in here, again, sometimes is better done than perfect so here I am, not really with a more important topic than others but maybe one of the most urgent and tickling to me at the moment.
Let’s talk for a moment on the definition of what I call “boys” and by reflection, the definition of the “girls” or any other identity and traits really. There are specific definitions and we all have a certain idea of what is a man or a woman or What Does LGBTQ+ Mean?
What seems intriguing to me though is what means masculine and feminine today, no matter here if you are a boy or a girl, a gay person or transgender or whatever is your story and you identify with. My question is: what are the evolutionary traits we can think of for the future in order to empower the new generations, empowering them with all the good bits of masculine and indeed feminine forces.
With this in mind, I enrolled in a new self-growth program (another one!), from where I have stolen the title of this post.
This still ongoing program I’m doing on the New Story of masculinity is by the inspiring Charles Eisenstein | Author & Speaker, brought to my attention by a feminine force, my wife Akiko, who is constantly suggesting amazing sources I would probably never bumped into myself or at least not at this perfect time, with this synchronicity.
I just started this program but the relevance of the content for this blog is already clear, did I mention the subtitle:
“The old patriarchal conception of masculinity is disintegrating before our eyes.
This is a good thing, but what is the next stop?”
And this is really my question, this is my journey and hopefully resonates with some of you as well. If it doesn’t, nothing bad with it, I am here with the straight purpose to bring this to the attention of as many boys and reformers as I can. For now, I just wanted to touch base here, say I’m still alive and working on it and give some hints of what I will deal with in this journey, as a father, as a man, as a son, as a husband, and ultimately as a good cell of the ecosystem I live in. I want to know, listen, understand and possibly change what’s not serving me, us, my son, all genders and identities, and, of course, the future generations.
I‘m constantly asking myself (and you, if you get involved) how do we proceed? Can we, and how do we rewire our brains, bodies and souls? What’s feminine and masculine? What defines gender? Is it culture? Are the stories that parents, schools, workplaces, peers and society tell us? or the ones we (more or less consciously) tell ourselves? Is it genetic? Is it a mix? And in that case is it more about biology or about the stories we tell ourselves, or what else?
Again, what do we do with the new challenging notion of neurological studies that states we can even change our genetic heritage, yes, apparently we can change our DNA!
Proven by Science: You Can Actually Change Your DNA and Here’s How
Can we boys and reformers change ourselves, therefore set an example and ultimately change the story of our communities for a better, more conscious and fulfilling future?
While you are mumbling on that crucial question, I would suggest to get some more insights on the topic, with easy and short readings like Why We Need to Reimagine Masculinity or more in-depth immersion on defining what the new boys may look like, in the words of MKP charity for men’s development:
“We believe that emotionally mature, powerful, compassionate and purpose-driven men will help heal some of our society’s deepest wounds. We support the powerful brilliance of men and we are willing to look at, and take full responsibility for, the pain we are also capable of creating…”
(source: ManKind Project: Men’s Community for the 21st Century)
In other words, what I am suggesting here is to investigate the fairly recent concepts of sacred masculinity or divine masculinity which have nothing to do with traditional religions, but with our own being human, being boys.
We know by now a bit more how to celebrate the gentle and intuitive approach of the feminine, and by the way, we should all find this in ourselves too, but we rarely search, celebrate, cultivate the masculine energy, the good one (again in all of us, no matter the gender). Those traits of leadership, bravery, grounding, protection, logic and so on. Don’t get me wrong here, I reiterate, the feminine and the masculine traits, the empowering ones, should be both present in a fine respectful balance, in every individual. We are talking about a completely new future human archetype that is yet to be defined.
What has this to do with the new generations and a sustainable future in practical and actionable terms? Simply put: everything; and if you are resilient and faithful enough, stay on the journey and we will find out more together.
Alright, homework is done, I wrote few words and feel better now, but to get out of my Jacuzzi I should go now and do more and more incisively, I should really maintain the promise of getting in touch with some other humans that are asking the same questions and some others that can facilitate the process of finding answers, or at least some clues on how to transform ourselves and create some occasions of education where we can have some alternative and more up to date, useful, practical good practices and resources for the future humans.
I leave you with a poem and yes, I heard of it in my new Jacuzzi self-growth program:
The New Macho By poem Boysen Hodgson:
“He cleans up after himself
He cleans up our planet
He is a role model for young men
He is rigorously honest and fiercely optimistic
He knows what he feels
He knows how to cry and he lets it go
He knows how to rage without hurting others
He knows how to fear and keep moving
He knows joy and shares gratitude
He seeks mastery
He lets go of childish shame
He feels guilty when he’s done something wrong
He is kind to men, kind to women, kind to children
He teaches others to be kind
He says he’s sorry
He stopped blaming women or his parents or men for his pain
He stopped letting his defences ruin his relationships
He stopped letting his libido run his life
He has enough self-respect to tell the truth
He creates intimacy and trust with his actions
He has men who he turns to for support
He knows how to make it happen
He knows how to roll with it
He is disciplined when he needs to be
He is flexible when he needs to be
He knows how to listen from the core of his being
He can face his limitations
He is not afraid to get dirty
He has high expectations for himself and for those he connects with
When he makes mistakes, as all men do, he holds himself accountable
When he falls he gets back up
He practises compassion for himself and others
He knows he’s an individual and he knows we are all one
He knows he is an animal and a part of nature
He knows his spirit and his connection to something greater
He looks for ways to serve others
He knows future generations are watching his actions
He builds communities where people are respected and valued
He takes responsibility for himself and he is willing to be his brother's keeper
He knows his higher purpose
He loves with fierceness
He laughs with abandon because he gets the joke
This is a picture of mature masculinity, of healthy masculinity — it is one redefinition of masculinity for the 21st century. By no means is this list complete. You are welcome to come and add your gifts to this community. www.mkp.org “
I’ll keep you posted on the progress and if you have great sources for this discussion or want to collaborate in some way, get in touch.
